• Wed, May 25 2011

Career Envy: A Food Critic

You know what my fantasy life entails besides cupcakes, pizza, music and sex? Words. Yes, the written word does the same thing to me that the previously listed items do. Sex and pizza don’t have the same effect on you? That’s so sad for you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. But even people who love what they do 50 hours a week are allowed to daydream about another career. I’ve covered my dream to be a deep sea diver, a cupcake shop owner, and this week, we’ll tackle being a food critic. Food and words, the perfect combination, n’est pas?

The pros:

1. Free food. The only thing better than an amazing meal, is a free amazing meal. Admitting to this doesn’t make you cheap, it makes you appreciative. If you’re a food critic, publications and restaurants are more than willing to pick up the tab so your expert palette can indulge then process the results in your brain for a positive (sometimes negative) review.

2. Travel. The world is full of wonderful restaurants that need to be covered for a variety of food-associated publications. As a food critic, you’re not restricted to just one neighborhood or city, the world is your oyster. Did someone say oyster? Sign me up for the oyster bar.

3.Combing two loves. Like killing one bird with two stones, combing two loves is like hitting the jackpot. I already write about independent music, so it’s about time I write about food, too. The passion for each is equal, so it’s about time I get on the food-writing train.

The cons:

1. Culinary school. I love to cook, as I mentioned in my cupcake shop owner piece, but mostly it’s a baking love. Granted, last night I made this really great shrimp-pepper-couscous concoction that I ate obsessively when I lived in Paris, but that’s the extent of it. And I was a horrible student. I don’t want to do that again, even if it is for cooking.

2. Free food. This could actually be a negative thing for me. I don’t have an off switch. I never got the memo on moderation. As an American my idea of portion control is skewed. I see free food, I eat… and eat and eat and eat. As a woman who is barely 5′, that’s a whole lot of extra that my frame does not need.

3. Picky eaters lose. One of my closest friends is huge in to experimenting with all types of food. Whatever the menu has to offer that’s weird, he’ll eat is up – literally. I do not. As a food critic, I’d be restricted in many ways. I’m not a big meat eater, having been a vegetarian for 10 years. I also have issues with texture. I barely eat sushi, and bananas make me cry.

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  • Lindsay Cross

    I would absolutely love to be a food critic. I’ll try anything once. Yummy, exotic and impressive food that I get to eat for free and then write about? Sign me up!