Office Confessions: I Run Away From An Empty Water Cooler

I think when I read that the human body needs at least 8 glasses of water a day, I got a little carried away. I have a one liter Fiji bottle of water that I refill easily 8 times a day – a bit more than 8 glasses, I suppose. This also results in multiple trips to the loo, which I kind of enjoy because I sort of hang out there a little too long, alone with my thoughts and taking a break from my desk. It’s fun you should try it.

This is the first office where I’ve worked that actually has a water cooler. It’s very exciting for me. Besides my subconscious goal to drown my organs with too much water, I think I also like to hang around the cooler in the hopes that someone will talk to me. Perhaps, offer up some bit of office gossip, compliment my dress or ask me to a fancy party. It never happens, of course, and I head back to my desk mildly disappointed.

However, as the person in the office who probably consumes the most water, I’m often the one to be there when the cooler runs out. I don’t know how much those things weigh, but I’m pretty sure they’re like 50 pounds. I’m 5′ – I can’t (read: don’t) lift 50 pounds. My coworker, the other Amanda, claimed they only weigh 10 pounds, but after some brief research, I was almost right: 41 pounds.

That being said, when I’m the one who drains the last drop from the water cooler, I literally run away. I don’t tell anyone, because I don’t want to seem like a weakling (which I am). No, like a child, I sprint from the scene, take my place back at my desk and play it cool. Granted, I’m not good at playing it cool, but I try.

I’m not sure who is the one who replaces the cooler after I run away. Although I’m thinking it might be the other Amanda, since she has such guns that make her think they only weigh 10 pounds… but no confirmation on that just yet. Should I find out it’s her, I guess I’ll have to issue an official apology, or just keep up my poor water cooler manners. I’m thinking the latter is more likely.


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    • Amanda Ernst

      Confirmation. I’d say I replace it about half the time, but as you pointed out above, I’m bad at estimating stuff. But no apologies necessary — the compliment about my “guns” was all I needed!

    • Amanda Chatel

      I’m bad at apologies anyway… I’m way better at compliments. Nice guns, Ernst!