From: ”M___” ____@____.com
To: “All” all@____.com
Date: September 1
Subject: Think Before You Type Thanks
I’m noticing an annoying trend with you people. It seems that I can no longer send out an email regarding the basics of this office without the majority of you responding with some pointless, mundane and unwitty response. This morning I sent out an email to merely remind you energy-wasters to shut off the lights whenever you exit the a room, kitchen, and/or bathroom; and that’s where things could have ended, but no. Instead I got a whole slew of stupid responses. In no specific order, they were as follows:
“AW AW AW.” (I’m assuming this person was trying to phonetically type out the noise she always makes)
“Jokes on you when someone steps on the dog in the dark and someone sues your ass.”
“I hate you.”
“What does ‘inundate’ mean?”
“I think you spelled the word ‘light’ wrong.”
“I still hate you.”
Seriously, your responses are weak and pretty much suck. Pick up a book by Oscar Wilde, learn the art of wit, then come back at me when you have something worth typing. Oh, and this might be a grand time to point out that smiley faces are pretty much the bane of my existence just like that LOL shit.
Thanks in advance.
“Wit is educated insolence.”
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