The average couple spends over $27,000 on their wedding according to a survey from TheKnot. Matrimonial services in the United States are a multi-billion dollar industry that surround and overwhelm brides all over the country. The wedding industry has turned a personal commitment between two people into a materialistic free-for-all, capitalizing on people’s emotional drive to buy party favors and memorabilia. And that wedding industrial complex just had a collective financial orgasm when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced their engagement.
It takes a certain stratospheric level of celebrity to create the type of hysteria that will overwhelm both the media and a business industry, and Brangelina is just that type of couple. We all witnessed the way that Beyonce drove parenting media and products alike. We saw how the royal wedding and our princess obsession turned everything Kate Middleton touched into a potential pile of money for eager entrepreneurs.
Now, we get to sit back and observe as Angelina’s choices become inspiration for millions of matrimonial services the world over. Be prepared for fake duplicates of the engagement ring that Brad designed himself. Get ready for every designer on the planet to publish sketches of what he or she would choose for the leading lady. Everything from the menu to the flowers will be ripe and ready for duplication and mass production.
Everyone loves a wedding. And the industry that supplies us with “Bride-to-Be” velour track suits and glittery costume jewelry tiaras will soon be betting that everyone loves Brangelina’s wedding enough to spend serious money replicating it.
No matter what you think about this one-time controversial couple, they’ve always known how to keep our attention. They seem to be devoted parents who are simply trying to raise their kids and do a bit of good in the world. They’ve been under a microscope for almost a decade, but I’m afraid that this engagement will only make things worse for their privacy.
The wedding industry is prepared for another whole royal wedding, and what are Brad and Angie if not American royalty? I can just see Bride Magazine convulsing to put Ang on the cover and Vera Wang dying to re-establish her reputation after that disastrous Kardashian affair.
As you’re reading this, every wedding professional in the country is thinking of ways to profit for this single couple’s big announcement. Come Monday morning, websites will be polling our opinions on whether Angelina will wear a traditional white dress. Manufacturers will start churning out cake toppers that resemble the couple. Travel companies will have honeymoon packages inspired by the couple’s most recent trips.
Good luck wedding industry! Make the most of this gift while you can. You might have another decade to wait until Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart give you another gift like this one.