Today, someone told me to “pipe down,” which I am now adding to my list of uncomfortably loaded phrases (i.e., “shrill”) unconducive to further discourse.
Who among us has not been massively disrespected? Who among us has been forced, Harry Potter-style, to dwell under the stairs?
Check out this letter.
First things first: some background: the manager who hired me was great. Very laid back, trusting, personable. Two weeks after I was hired, he was promoted. The manager who replaced him is his exact opposite: a controlling, micromanaging, perfectionist whose only joy comes in the form of mildly racist jokes. I do not like this man. And I am 90% sure he would not have hired me had he been in charge at the time. In addition, since my cross country moving expenses were paid by the company, I am under contract with them for two years. If I break that contract, I would need to pay back the money they paid to move me out here.
So naturally I walk around on eggshells, afraid of doing anything on my own for fear of not doing it perfectly. Everything has to be run by my manager or my other coworker because no one trusts me, including myself now. Before I came here, I was confident in my abilities and looked forward to new challenges. Now they paralyze me with fear. I spend most of my days convinced I am not doing something right or that I am not good enough.
To top it all off, we are moving offices. And my entire team are getting new spacious offices with windows and views. All except myself and our group’s contracted administrator. The two of us have been relegated to a hallway that appears to have been used to store filing cabinets. It’s bleak and barely wide enough for a chair and a desk to fit comfortably.
I understand that I am new and thus don’t deserve a big office with a nice view, but I can’t help but feel incredibly disrespected by this entire process. I was given no say in the move and now I am being asked to essentially work in a crawl space.
Am I being a petulant child? Do I just need to suck it up and keep my head down for the next year until my contract is up? The company is an excellent one to work for and I am hesitant to throw in the towel over an office, plus the pay is incredible. However, I am massively depressed and find myself silently wishing to get fired with a nice severance package at least once a week. What should I do!?!?
The Girl Under the Filing Cabinets
Okay, that can’t be ergonomic. Make sure you’re stretching after work. Pilates?