“Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman.” — George Soros
Earlier this week a blogger called Bankerella wrote a post for Wall Street Oasis that has been causing a lot of rumbling among the Wall Street crowd. In the post she talks about the fact that the only men that are acceptable for a woman in finance to date have to work in finance (traders, consultants, private equity guys, hedge fund guys, private wealth management guys, etc.,) and she doesn’t exactly silver coat how she feels about these men (using a computer mouse was considered a character flaw for consultants.) For example, she says men that work in Private Wealth Management are great at finding the best restaurants but on the con side they may put a girl into “date rape territory” (we’re not sure if that puts him on the same level as the guy using the mouse.) The post got many enraged comments from both men and women, but I believe the main point we should take away from this is that women in finance do work a ton of hours so dating someone who understands that lifestyle may be better for the relationship. Though this blogger is also stating that men who don’t work in finance couldn’t possibly be as smart as them or worthy of their time? We talked to some real women in finance to see if they agree with this dating school of thought.
“As a banker chick, you need to get maximum hedonic return on the few hours you have left to yourself, and let’s face it, those hours aren’t enough to gently nurture a budding but delicate relationship. You need to be strategic about how you use that time, so you need to find people (or a person) who can do the same.”
Trying to have fun in the little free time you have does make sense. According to a recent survey from Capstone, 67% of the 2,000 associates and vice presidents interviewed, do not feel they are being compensated the correct amount for the sacrifices they are making, such as 100-hour work weeks, canceled vacations, etc.
One woman who works in finance who chose to remain anonymous told The Grindstone:
“With most finance jobs, they would understand your crazy hours since they have it too. they would be able to understand what you are talking about and could kind of talk shop if you ever wanted to. They make good money and are usually pretty smart and successful. Not that some of that doesn’t apply to other jobs. It’s just kind of because you’re in the same world.”
Another woman who works in finance said she definitely exhibited this attitude amongst her female colleagues and felt she stood alone in her thoughts on men:
“I don’t like most bankers. I don’t like most PE guys. In fact, I find most PE guys to be utter d-bags who can’t carry a conversation and whose place at a cocktail party will always be bought by his ability to make money and not by his wit or intrinsic personality. Same with traders. I’m more into the genteel, well-rounded, thoughtful person. [My female colleagues] totally viewed dating and marriage as a transaction. They screened for the best resume.”
Lindsey Kinnsch, Certified Default Advocate FOR MLS & Wholesale Acquisitions at US Financial, told The Grindstone:
“As a banker girl I can totally relate to all of the above. But what I ended up settling on just recently was a dude who was not in the industry at all! (until I dragged him in.. what can i say, its addictive!) But now I’m shaping him and his perception of the industry into my end goal! Hey and whadya know, turns out now we have the same goals!”
One female commenter on the post wrote:
“Disgusting. Please tell me you aren’t serious; I’d just like to think you have an unhealthy addiction for fanning the flames. There’s being an independent, successful woman… and then there’s being a total dickwad.
I don’t see why your time is somehow more valuable than that of someone who is pursuing what they believe to be a fulfilling career, however slow the climb. I used to be on the path of a starving artist, and many of the most respectable people I know are “scrubs” who are trying to “make it.”"