Most people do not walk away from their jobs. Especially during a recession. I witnessed countless people getting fired and laid off from their jobs last year. One of my dear friends from my former job was called into the conference room and let go a few weeks before I decided to leave my job. I saw the pain in her eyes as she wept, wondering how she was going to pick up the pieces from such a devastating loss. I hugged her and tears fell down my cheek as well. Because I too, worried about her sanity after something that was such a big part in her life was being ripped away from her.
Despite hundreds of thousands of people and my dear friend being laid off last year, I decided to voluntarily join the party. I remember the day clearly. I was scheduled to return to work after a weeks vacation. During that vacation I went back and forth about what I was about to do. I cried, I screamed, I smiled, I worried, and on the morning of March 21st, 2011 (the day before I was scheduled to return to work), I wrote a heart felt letter to my boss and colleagues notifying them of my resignation. I did not return to work for my final two weeks because I sensed that in doing so, they would have tried to talk me out of my decision and leaving my job of 7 years was something that I had to do for myself.
I am sure that a lot of you would think that my decision was impulsive, irrational, and down right stupid. I have a high school education, no college degree, and was leaving a promising job in finance. I had perfect credit, an excellent work ethic, and was in the running to become a leader within my group. So I am sure you are thinking … What the hell was I thinking? You see, to understand my decision you have to understand what kind of person I am. I sometimes like to step out on blind faith. I don’t know the whole picture sometimes, but I do have an idea of the way I want my life to be. I sometimes go where other people are afraid to go. And even if I know there is going to be pain involved I face it anyway because the learning is much more to me than the pain.
What I DID NOT Want
What I didn’t want was to be confined to a cubicle (five sometimes six days a week), driving home in an hour’s traffic, eating dinner in a coma like state, going to bed disgruntled, to wake up and YIPPEE… do it all over again. I did not want to be monitored on the time I walked through the doors, monitored on how long I spent in the bathroom, and monitored on how long I took for lunch. I did not want my performance to be based on the amount products I sold when my real talents lied in helping the customers and providing solutions to some of their financing or funding issues. I was excellent with customer service and had two awards to prove it. I had a talent for listening and relating to people and the job kept trying to mold me into a sales person.
What I DID Want
I wanted to be recognized for the talent and skills I did possess and not molding into something I wasn’t. What I did want, was the freedom to roam and do things that way I wanted to do them. I am somewhat of the kind of person that likes to walk to the beat of their own drum. Not that I can’tbe told what to do. I am actually quite obedient and will listen to those in authority about 95% of the time. I was always a good student, turning all my work in on time, listening and being a good child and favorable employee, but there was a drive inside me that needed me to be more individual and in charge of my own destiny. It is that rebellious part of me that I have struggled with throughout my entire life and that I struggled with the day I decided to turn in my resignation.