• Fri, Oct 26 2012

Stephen Colbert Compares CNN Voting/Hormones Study To The Monty Python Witch Test

Earlier this week, our sister site Blisstree reported on a study posted by CNN about how ovulation is the real driving force behind women’s voting decisions. The response was not very positive. I can’t imagine why. I love being told that my hormone levels control my every thought. It’s right up there with being told I am a bad driver and that I throw badly. CNN subsequently withdrew the study stating that some of it didn’t meet CNN’s editorial standards.

But Stephen Colbert felt the fact that the study was posted in the first place needs to be addressed because this is a serious issue. And with the election only 12 days away, it is his job to bring us “the most cutting-edge, baseless guess-timations of who’s going to win.” And we should all know that the quickest way to determine a woman’s political leanings is by throwing her into the river to see if she is a witch, said Stephen. Clearly, we should take all advice on the fundamental reason women think the way they think from the bible of knowledge that is Monty Python and The Holy Grail! I pretty much base every life decision  I make on Python films. When to use a ridiculous French accent, when to tell a school boy his mother is dead and of course, when to do a silly walk.

Or we could just look at the shape of their skulls, according to Stephen. That is much more useful in determining whether a woman is going to vote for Mitt Romney or not. “Damn straight,” said Colbert. “This study is offensive. All women are alike? Mindless hormone zombies following pheromone trails like so many worker ants to the polls? No! Come on, it’s the 21st century. Women don’t make decisions based on what’s down here,” he said, pointing to his groin, “They make decisions based on what’s up here,” pointing then at his head. “The shape of their skulls!”

Frankly I’ll go with shape of skulls over my ovulation cycle controlling my politics any day. In fact, I’ll go with being thrown in the water over hormones making up my mind.

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