Taylor Swift Is Now No. 1 In Everything, So Will She Stop Acting So Surprised About Her Success?

Taylor Swift is newly single after a breakup with 18-year-old Conor Kennedy, but she’s not sitting around moping. Her career is on fire: Swift’s new album “Red” just sold more copies in its first week than any other album since 2002. Basically everything the woman touches these days turns to no. 1. Can she finally stop acting so gosh-darned surprised at her success now?

According to Nielsen SoundScan, “Red” sold 1.21 million copies in its first week. That’s the biggest first-week number for an album since Eminem’s “The Eminem Show,” in a decade that saw album sales overall drop by 50%. Swift’s last album, “Speak Now,” sold 1.05 million copies in its first week in 2010.

Swift is a brand that reaches way beyond music: She’s a face of CoverGirl, and has a sponsorship deal with Target. She has her own line of Keds shoes. (Naturally, they’re adorable.) She teamed up with Papa John’s in a deal that let customers get a copy of the new album along with a large pizza in a box with her face on it for $22. Don’t spill the garlic butter sauce, y’all!

And, yes, there’s the music, too. “Red,” obviously, debuts at no. 1 on the Billboard charts. Last night she performed her hit song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (the no. 1 country song in America) on Dancing With the Stars (the no. 1 reality show in America). The album set a new single-day record for iTunes downloads last week In short: Everything Taylor Swift does is no. 1. The girl doesn’t mess around.

Now, the only question left is whether she’ll finally admit that she’s a megastar, and stop acting so shockedshocked, you guys, I can’t even believe it! — when she wins the inevitable next round of awards, and when her next album, “You’re RFK-ing With My Heart,” sells 8 trillion copies. Taylor, you’re gorgeous, rich, popular, talented, and deservedly successful. it’s time to move on to the next phase of success: Owning it.


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    • CG

      I find it weird she has a line of Keds coming out called “Red.” I know that’s the name of her album, but isn’t RED the charitable line that the GAP features? Seems like a weird bit of crossover…

    • WittyJibby

      I think she’s surprised because she knows she sucks at singing but her songwriting isn’t half bad.