Fake Lessons From Start-Ups: Silicon Valley: Birthday Dildos And Naming Your Startup

Oh it was a super fun week in Start-Ups: Silicon Valley. Episode 5 was all about sex toys, hooking up and launching a company….while drinking wine…and showing off your gymnastics skills.

We started off with Hermione literally rolling out of bed. She is still recovering from her breakdown last week at a networking event where she made a wee bit of a scene (somewhere in between the Mommy Dearest wire hangers scene and Jessie Spano’s I’m so excited/week long pill addiction.) But her brother appears to be a source of comfort for her stress as they plan her birthday party.

Then David, Jay and Marcus have a scene at a sex shop where they search for gifts for Hermione. Who wouldn’t want a sex toy from the model/nerd they went on a date with once?

Cut to Kim’s first day working on her company. I love that she is starting this endeavor with a glass of wine. I, at first, thought it was morning when she was offering her friends wine and cocktails but then it became night so that made me feel better. Kim and her friends, all  really “fun, creative people”, helped Kim brainstorm a name for her new fashion startup which she is pitching as a luxury company focused on Gen Y with a fashion component.

Kim was really into this crazy gymnastics move called the “Shushunova” and wanted to call it “Shunova.” This resulted in some weird looks. “Is it too hard ? Wil people get it? Does it sound like a Russian hockey player?,” Kim asked. But then she argued that so many guys in Silicon Valley name their companies after the dog, so she was going to be a feminist and name it after her favorite gymnastics move. Girl power!

Then poor lost but hilarious David got help with his startup at Appcelerator. It seems like if he had just done this in the first place there would have been a whole lot less whining from him, but would fun would that be?

Then cut to Sarah getting her hair and makeup done by a professional for her non-date. I hate to think what this girl does for a real date. Then she called Hermione to tell her about how she was going on a non-date with her brother.

Cut to the world’s most romantic non-date. I mean it was like straight out of The Notebook if The Notebook was about tech entrepreneurs with a mechanical bull. But they both had ferris wheel scenes so….

Oh and at some point Dwight had dinner with his parents and we saw why he is so smart. And that was pretty much all we saw of Dwight.

Then finally the main event: Hermione’s birthday party. Literally everyone in Silicon Valley was there, including some potential investors for Hermione and Ben’s company. First, Hermione awkwardly asked Sarah about her date with her brother and then plastered on a smile that would make The Joker from Batman feel uncomfortable. As Kim said, it was awkward for everyone involved.

But if you thought that was awkward, you hadn’t seen anything yet. Hermione, thinking she was just celebrating her birthday and having fun, got a little crazy when David and Jay presented her with some dildo panties. Yes, she went a little off the deep end but it did seem wrong that Ben told her she just lost half a million dollars. Way to be a party pooper! Then they had a big fight where they seemed to end their business partnership. I feel like they were just trying to pawn the company off on eachother but disguised it by saying that they didn’t want to hurt their personal relationship. Anyway, on to the lessons!

Lesson 1: Stick up for what you want. If Kim wants to name her company after some gymnastics move, then she damn well should. And the company is called Shonova!

Lesson 2: In Silicon Valley, there are always potential investors. So maybe don’t strap on a dildo even when you are at your own birthday party.  Save that for the smaller intimate gathering after the party.

Lesson 3: Always be weary of mixing family with business. Even if it is the brother you didn’t grow up with and met 20 years later Parent Trap style.





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    • Joselyn

      Thanks for the recap! I’m sure
      every young start up knows inviting your investors to a personal birthday party
      is a very good idea. I’m still waiting for the break-through moment when
      someone actually creates an idea that will make me jealous I didn’t come up
      with it first. I have a new work schedule at DISH and I missed this past
      episode of “Start-Ups.”Luckily, my DISH Hopper was set to record it, but
      because I am bad with setting weekly timers I had it record the season.There is
      over 400 hours of HD DVR room so I can record this show and my other favorite
      shows that air the same night. I can’t wait to see what these crazy kids do