At the BlackBerry 10 launch in New York yesterday morning, BlackBerry announced Alicia Keys as its new global creative director. Yes, that Alicia Keys — the Alicia Keys that keeps falling in and out of lovewith you, is married to Swizz Beatz, and puts her adorable baby son in adorable cupcake hats. She is BlackBerry’s new global creative director. Don’t worry; we’re confused too.
In a statement, BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins said that Keys represents the company’s dedication to creativity and productivity:
Alicia Keys has come to BlackBerry because she believes in the product and technology, and subscribes to our overriding philosophy to ‘Keep Moving’: to empower people through mobile computing and communications. We are excited she will be bringing to us her enormous capabilities, as well as a vast network of relationships in the entertainment, social media and business communities, to help shape our brand and grow our business.
I find the tail end of that statement — the part where Heins alludes to Alicia Keys’ “vast network of relationships in the entertainment, social media, and business communities” — pretty hilarious. It’s as if BlackBerry is some coattail-riding, deadbeat boyfriend. “Just date her for awhile, man,” BlackBerry’s dudebros advised him over a round of Sam Adams Winter Lagers. “She’ll bring you to cool parties. You’ll probably meet Jay-Z and the Kings of Leon! This will be really good, man…you know, for the band.”