Sometimes you’ve got to take a few steps backward in order to make that giant leap forward in the right direction—because it builds momentum to get over life’s hurdles, right? At least, that’s what I tell myself every time I think about being the girl I always said I’d never be, but totally and completely was: the girl who moved for her boyfriend.
After wrapping up one year in New York City, I decided to move back to Dallas to end the two-year long distance relationship with my boyfriend and start a new chapter together. (I know how cheesy that sounds, but gosh, I loved that boy.) But this isn’t one of those happily-ever-after stories, unfortunately.
Five months after my New York friends threw me a surprise going away party, and The New York Post followed me and my then-boyfriend around to complete my bucket list before moving (they literally followed me with a video camera and posted the video on their site), I found myself back in Manhattan—alone, puffy-eyed, and with our new puppy in tow—but this time I was determined to start my own business… after I found an apartment, of course, and pried the proverbial pint of ice cream and Adele album from my hands.
I want you to know that this article isn’t about a break-up or boy-bashing or a bitter rant to urge girls not to move for their significant others out of spite. No, this is a story that lists the questions I wish I would have asked myself before I bought the one-way ticket. Many girls find themselves having to make the same decision, and for some of them, moving is the right one. Every situation is different, but we should all ask ourselves the same things. The difference is, do these things matter to you?
1. Does the location hold you back in detrimental ways?
Yes, you may technically be the one in the relationship with the flexible job or the career that isn’t quite figured out yet. More specifically, you may be lucky enough to keep your current job and work remotely, or have a hot skill set that will easily get you a good job in this new city.
But, whatever the case, be sure you don’t feel as if you’re settling for jobs in locations that you know will slow you down or plateau your career, especially if goals like working at the headquarters in a different city or starting a business in a specialized industry outside of those city limits is important to you.
Look, relationships are absolutely about sacrifice, but what’s a relationship that’s overshadowed by underlining resentment if you’re not emotionally ready for that kind of a sacrifice?