Hi Sick Folk,
I could have been at work in the office today, writing jokes and making bank. Instead, I’m spending my day blowing my nose and hacking more than Carlos Mencia on an HBO special. (Incidentally, Mr. Mencia knows all about making bank, but nothing about writing jokes.) In any case: Why?
Because you refused to call out sick. Instead, you came into work blowing your nose and hacking more than Carlos Mencia on an HBO special.
Guys, when you come to work sick, not only are you in poor morale, but you also made the rest of us vulnerable to your pathogens. We’re constantly trapped in a room of cold, dry air. We’re in close quarters. And you are contagious.
You look and act miserable, and your work suffers. Everything you do has to be redone, making us pretty much lose a day’s worth of effort despite being in the office. On top of everything else, you may give us attitude in front of our boss–bad move, sickos.
Next time you’re sick, please just stay home. You may think you’re being a martyr by coming to work when you don’t feel well, but really, you’re just Patrick from The Walking Dead, and you’re infecting everyone else. You’re not doing anyone any favors. You’re just making all of us mad and sick.
I’m not a nice person, so chances are I already didn’t like you much even when you’re in perfect physical health. But now, holy Hell, do I hate you now. While I appreciate that I won’t have to wear pants today, I’m still pissed that it’s not on my own terms.