Crowdfunding Your Life: Kickstarters & GoFundMe For Your Baby

money head graphic money on the brain money on my mind

Too bad you can’t crowdfund for class. | Source: ShutterStock

It’s annoying when rich people like Zosia Mamet of Girls and Zach Braff, who’s making a killing off of Scrubs residuals, use Kickstarters and GoFundMe for projects they can probably afford to put together themselves, but now everyday people are using it just as offensively. Since we talk about money and careers here, I’m going to let you in on a crowdfunding project launched by a pal of mine that breaks my heart and makes my blood boil.

A friend’s fiancee (I’ve never met her, but I know the dude) launched a GoFundMe to pay off her student loans so “they can raise a child responsibly,” and she wants $9,000. Her full pitch is as follows:

“My name is [redacted], and I am engaged to be married to my best friend, [redacted]. We are eager to start a family but we wish to do so responsibly. I have my bachelor’s degree in agricultural sciences, which brought [redacted] and me from northern [redacted] to [redacted] a little under two years ago. Every time we have discussed raising children I cannot get over the thought of my looming student loans. I am able to make the payments each month, but we are looking for a way to help get ahead of the loan payment process so we are more financially secure and, thus, more capable of raising children in a nurturing environment. The goal for this project is a chunk of my remaining loan payments, and if we are successful, we will have the stability we’d fine comforting in order to raise our future children.”

Uh, tacky much? This is why millennials have a bad rap.

First off, most people in our generation also have student loan debt, so I’m not sure why this sob story makes her a special snowflake. Second, if you can’t afford to raise a child on your own, you probably shouldn’t ask strangers to fund it for you. Third, this child may well be raised with an enormous sense of entitlement, because instead of tightening belts and working extra–or even just trying with scratchoffs or something–his or her parents are just asking for non-tax deductible donations from friends and strangers.

Additionally, if you want to raise a child and want others to subsidize it for you, you may want to go into foster parenting: The government sends a check, you help kids in need, and you sound like much less of an asshole than these people do.

Plus, who wants to pay for other people to rawdog off-camera? Get a grip and get some class. Not even crowdfunded $9,000 can buy that, but perhaps a portion of that money can go towards an Emily Post book or two.

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    • Christina

      This has me cracking up, but I’m also so perplexed at how one thought this was ok to do this. There much be a back story!

      I’m currently crowdfunding myself but for a business that I’ve been busting my a*s off on for over two years – Feminine Weapon. Mid-way into the campaign, I realized that I’ve got to do something to catch the attention of my loved ones if we’re going to reach our goal. I’m a single woman and I’ve spent thousands of dollars on friend’s wedding and babies. I don’t have rich parents and we’re too small for VC funding, so crowdfunding seemed to be the perfect option for us.

      On May 22, I’m getting married… to my dream… and I’m invited everyone to attend for a concert celebration – MARRY YOUR DREAMS at the Cutting Room in NYC.

      Jessica, you are invited. Let me know. I’d love to share more about it with you!

    • PattiSluth
    • MelaineHeiser

      How to crowfunding My money?

    • Benjii699

      A new platform to crowdfund your life