On Friday we discussed the BS you lie about on your resume to get hired. Well, it turns out, not only are companies using background checks to factcheck your lies, but they’re also telling quite a few of their own to get you to take a job you may end up hating. LinkedIn compiled a list of the most common lies that employers tell potential hires to get them to take a position—the most common baits and switches, if you will. The most common lies a potential employer will tell you, as well as what they really mean, are:
1. There’s a lot of opportunity for advancement.
If you advance, that means you may be taking over your boss’ job at some point. So unless they advance, you probably won’t. Additionally, if you advance, someone else will get your job, right? So this doesn’t always add up, depending on where you’re applying.
2. The bonus structure will double your income.
Oh please. If that were true they’d just offer you double the salary and not even worry about bonuses. This is just a line they’ll use to get out of paying you less upfront (and in the long run, because there’s usually some excuse not to give you a bonus, and unless you kiss a lot of ass, they’ll certainly find it if they’re pressed for money).
3. Your territory is protected and we won’t change it.
If that were true, they wouldn’t be hiring.
4. You’ll get extensive training.
This ought to be true, but we don’t live in a perfect world.
5. You’ll have scheduling flexibility and can work from home on occasion.
I fell into this trap. The “on occasion” part means “if you’re bleeding from the head or got infected with something really bad,” or when they’re generous, if there’s a blizzard. Otherwise, good luck: They’ll be miffed that your agreement is different from everyone else’s, coworkers may resent you, or they’ll think you’re not a team player. When really, you’re just trying not to get bronchitis for the third damn time from the animal who sits next to you and never washes his hands.
6. We’ll hire you some help when it gets busy.
You’ll probably have different definitions of “busy,” and when it actually is busy, your boss will probably be too busy to stop and look through resumes (or just unwilling to spend more money if you’re managing alone without the aid of others). Be very wary of this one.
7. Once you fix this problem/department/project, etc., you’ll get to work on something new and exciting.
Take a gander at your industry. If you work in accounting for a cardboard company, how much excitement are you expecting?
For tips on how to counter BS like this, check out LinkedIn’s guide to detecting lies from employers and how to deal with it here.