One of my current employers is hiring. I posted about it on my college alumni’s Facebook page for potential applicants to shoot me a message and their resumes if they were interested. I was inundated with horrible things that made me think the prospective applicants were, at their current junctures, pretty unemployable. If you’re trying to apply for a job in similar circumstances (through a network of someone you don’t know well but want to endorse you), here’s how to actually get a job referral and not an eyeroll.
1. Seriously guys, spell check.
Know the difference between “there,” “their” and “they’re.” I refuse to read any further if you eff those up. Harsh, but so will any potential employers, unless they, too, are lazy and incompetent, in which case, why would you want to work for them?
2. Don’t act overly familiar.
I write with a casual tone and I’m a laidback person (except during football season). That doesn’t mean you should address me the way you would your best friend. I’m not your best friend. I have enough friends, and I hate stupid texting abbreviations. Save it for your actual BFF4E.
3. Tailor and edit your resume.
Hey guys: This isn’t my job. If you can’t be bothered to list your most relevant positions and remove that ice cream scooping job you had in middle school, how good of a worker can you possibly be? I’m happy to offer pointers, but if you expect me to do the work for you, don’t expect to get hired.
4. Understand how attachments work.
Chances are you’ve been using the Internet for a long time. Why is this so hard?
5. Don’t nag me.
I’m busy. If I think you’re worthy, believe me, I will pass you along. Because if I do, I get a referral bonus. I’m not that charitable unless tax deductions are involved.