Stop Trying To Sell Me Your Stupid ItWorks Crap

My dumb friend who’s broke from marrying an idiot and who tried selling those stupid Jamberry nail wraps has moved on to another “multi-level marketing” business (which can be somewhat compared to a pyramid scheme) instead of getting an actual job.

This time, it’s ItWorks. My friend, who is overweight bordering on obese, is peddling “herbal wraps” that promise to shrink whatever area one thinks is too big by … well, I’ll let her explain in the poorly written form announcement she posted about it:

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Here’s where ItWorks sucks. Well, a few places. Most “distributors” make less than $800 a year on this. They have to spend $99 on a starter kit to sell this trash, then $80 a month on more products to re-sell. They get a “free” website to sell this crap, but only for 30 days, after which they have to pay for that, too. They also have to sell a minimum of $112 in products per month to make any sort of commission.

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These people will try to guilt you into buying their wares, which don’t work and can potentially be harmful in people with certain pre-existing medical conditions. (Since they’re marketed as beauty products, they’re able to skirt FDA regulations on a lot of claims they make.) If you don’t buy them, they will try to convince you to help them sell:

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Sorry, not my problem. Supporting ItWorks isn’t supporting a small business. The founders own an island while most sellers don’t know what the Hell they’re doing and end up losing money on the venture.

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What’s more, the stuff simply isn’t as effective as, say, just eating greens, drinking water, and working out. Any weight one loses from these stupid wraps is just water weight, which you sweat out. You can do the same thing in a sauna or by dressing really warmly at the gym, both of which would be much more pleasant experiences than sitting through one of these stupid fucking parties.

In conclusion: If your goal with ItWorks is going into debt and prompting your friends to hide you your from their newsfeeds, congratulations! It works.

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