It’s flu season. It’s cold season. If you feel sick, stay home.

Please. Especially you, Typhoid Holly, who can’t help but hack all over everyone at my day job.

Going to work sick doesn’t mean you’re dedicated to your job. It means you’re inconsiderate of everyone around you.

If you can’t afford to take a single day off, that’s likely a symptom of poor decision-making with your money. If you can work remotely but would rather look like a hero, know that you’re actually a monster.

It’s not helpful for your boss or your company for you to come to the office sneezing and hacking up your lungs, because you’re going to infect everyone else. You’re also going to be much less productive, and spread that lack of productivity to your colleagues. (And your boss considers your “presenteeism” a problem, not an asset. Really!)

Seriously. Take the day. Rest. Load up on vitamin C. Show this to your boss if you must. And please, stay the Hell away from the rest of us, otherwise your entire office operation will collapse.

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