I am an avid reader of your column on The Gloss and The Grindstone for quite some time now, but never before had I been in direct need of your advice. Here it is: you have mentioned several times in your columns that you are a tutor in a lot of subjects. I have just started tutoring students myself. It’s maybe not really the same situation: I am employed by the teacher of a class that I have taken three years ago, to supervise the exercises part of the course. I have 24 students, engineering freshmen, at once, for one hour twice a week.
Topic: Jen Dziura
I cannot emphasize enough that the only constant in life is change.
It’s a cliche, to be sure. So is the idea that women are all about finding “security,” be it financial or romantic.
But “security” is relative, at best. Even if you pledge to spend the rest of your life with someone, one of you is going to die first. Even if you have a very nice place to live, there are kinds of natural disasters you can’t even buy insurance for. If you are an employee, with all your advancement pinned on one job, it is only a matter of time before your manager moves on, you are transferred to some new manager, conditions become unbearable, your job disappears entirely, or — good times ahead — the opposite of one those things happens.
Throughout 2012, Bullish and TheGrindstone published articles about starting a business (out of mere flashes of fancy and shiny pennies!), negotiating for more money, succeeding despite backstabbers, bullies, and less ambitious life partners, getting your first job or internship, coping with deadlines, networking despite being an introvert who’d rather stay home and write business haiku, developing unstoppable tech skills, and otherwise making your life more awesome than the lives of the lazy people all around us. More
Where do business ideas come from?
I’ve got hundreds of them, like a pair of ovaries full of tiny, dormant ideas, some of them awesome and some of them terrifyingly defective — and many, many more than anyone could ever bring to fruition. (This is a pretty good metaphor, except that you’re actually born with all the eggs you’re ever going to have, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t born knowing that “Treelivery” would be the world’s best name for a Christmas-tree delivery business.) More
Here is a letter I received shortly after Hurricane Sandy. I had evacuated to my fiancé’s parents’ house and was going a bit stir-crazy (I did discover that you can make a pretty decent fake espresso with half a mug of hot milk and about ten times more instant coffee than the package suggests.) More
Even if you have studiously avoided all religion and twelve-step programs throughout your life, as I have, you’re probably familiar with this:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
The “God” part is sort of superfluous here, isn’t it?
Today, we have two questions about underlying rules and structures that you have to figure out to keep from constantly banging your head into a wall.
I wrote in Bullish: Social Class in the Office about how my high school debate coach not only taught me to properly shake hands, but explained to me why it was important to cordially shake hands with your enemies (hint: so observers you hope to bring over to your side don’t think you’re an asshole before you even start talking!) More
Are deadlines chasing you like fiery hell-demons? Do they thump from under the floor like Poe’s tell-tale heart? Do they watch you like the all-seeing eye of Sauron?
If you have an impossible deadline, here’s a quick read (it should be – you have a deadline, right?) with a few ideas, and some important questions to ask. More
Today I’m answering two letters from women I’ve renamed Charlotte Whitton (she who said, “Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”) and Flo Kennedy, who once protested a lack of women’s bathrooms by holding a “Protest Pee-In” in Harvard Yard.
“I will be turning 24 soon, and feel as though I’m getting a late start, particularly because the fields I have chosen are notoriously difficult to break into and it will take a few months, minimum, and am intimidated by how much experience and competence everyone else seems to have. I am currently contacting everyone in my network to see if they have any advice or connections and am starting a blog, but I feel like this is not enough. Do you have any advice for how to make up for lost time?”
Faith Hill's Braces Are No Excuse For Her Dramatic Weight Loss
Source: The Stir
20 Men Who Get Emotional Over Dogs
Guess Which Movie Star Knocked Up His Girlfriend?
Source: Lainey Gossip
The Inspiring Note Every Woman Should Read
Source: HuffPo Women
5-Year-Old Girl Led Police To Kidnapper Who Dressed As Her Mother & Stole Her From School
Source: The Stir
Practically every woman I know lives in a state of near-constant guilt for not getting enough done.
Of course, I have ambitious friends.
When you look for advice on a problem like this, your ambitious friends typically say, “Me, too!” and sometimes try to compete with you about who is the most behind on their goals. More
How formal should you be in your career? Check out this letter from a writer I’ve called Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, which I discovered is the full name of Queen Elizabeth II. Apparently titled royals do not have surnames, although the Queen sometimes uses the name Windsor, because honestly, having three female first names and no last name kind of makes one sound like a very pretentious stripper. More
This past Monday, I was the keynote speaker at Dartmouth College’s Words of Wisdom event for first-year women.
This is a thing I do. I give speeches. I have spoken at other universities, performed standup comedy for the U.S. troops in the Middle East (for audiences of 800 armed men sitting at picnic tables in the middle of the Kuwaiti desert!), and even taught public speaking to convicts in a Vermont prison.
I have read the statistics that most people are more afraid of public speaking than of death, and I’ve always been a bit smug about it. Public speaking is no big deal! More
Today, we have a letter from someone who feels she’s planning her professional life a little later than would have been ideal.
My position is that it’s never too late to get bullish. Especially if you’re still healthy, energetic, and don’t have three kids or tens of thousands of dollars in debt. More
There are lots of books out there intended to help women negotiate with men, by being like men or at least understanding them.
But some nonzero number of men out there could use advice on negotiating with women. I can help. More